Sarah's Musings on Past Lives and Present Skepticism©

It’s the Fall of 2011, I’m in an opulent three-bedroom hotel suite at The Cove in West Kelowna with seven other spiritual seekers. We’re taking a four-weekend course called “The Spiritual Intensive.” Part of our exploration this weekend, along with topics like remote viewing, communing with passed-over loved ones, and reading each other’s auras, is connecting with our past lives. 

After a long guided meditation by the facilitator, I am told I’ve been energetically readied. We are partnered up with our fellow seekers and designated to quiet spaces away from other pairs. We are encouraged to verbalize what we “see” when our eyes are closed, and my partner has her pen ready to be my scribe. The first thing I see is long toenails. The kind that cirlicue inwards on themselves like the shoes of Middle Eastern marching bands. Then, in third person, I see myself. I am in my 90s, Chinese, male, and my white-ish beard is long and sparse. I sense peace and poverty. 

After, we debrief on our past lives visions. I am astonished that we aren’t given any “advice” on discerning between imaginings and authentic connection. Instead, everyone is validated as having seen one of their past lives. Deep in my heart, I know I haven’t. It’s an image my mind conjured. A fantasy. It dawns on me to forgive myself for indulging in this. My ego got all jazzed up that I could be that “powerful” as to download a past life on demand. The truth is, we aren’t supposed to remember our past lives. This total amnesia is part of the deal of reincarnation. I keep this eureka to myself as I finish the weekend’s spiritual retreat and fork over a thousand bucks. 

Listen, there’s nuance in absolutely every belief. With new information, I’m open to amending my thoughts and feelings. The retreat planted the seed of spiritual discernment that has grown within me. Who benefits from what we’re told we’ve seen?

The closest spiritual “camp” I feel particular affinity for is Buddhism. And yet, it has a strong connection to “past and future lives.” Feel free to scroll past these tenets if you’re already well-travelled on the Buddhist path. Otherwise, here they are pared-down.

Main Tenets of Buddhist Beliefs

1. The Four Noble Truths These are central to all schools of Buddhism:

   • Life involves suffering (dukkha).

   • Suffering is caused by desire and attachment.

   • There is an end to suffering (nirvana).

   • The way to end suffering is through the Eightfold Path (Rahula 16).

2. The Noble Eightfold Path This is the path to liberation and includes:

   • Right View, Right Intention, Right Speech, Right Action,Right Livelihood, Right Effort, Right Mindfulness, and Right Concentration (Harvey 50–53).

3. Karma and Rebirth Actions (karma) influence future rebirths. A being’s ethical behavior determines their future conditions of existence (Gethin 119–121).

4. Anatta (Non-Self) There is no permanent, unchanging self or soul. The idea of a fixed self is an illusion (Rahula 51).

5. Anicca (Impermanence) All conditioned things are in a constant state of change, and clinging to them causes suffering (Harvey 34).

6. Dukkha (Suffering or Unsatisfactoriness) Even pleasurable experiences are ultimately unsatisfying because they are temporary (Gethin 59–60).

7. Nirvana The ultimate goal is liberation from the cycle of birth, death, and rebirth (samsara). It is a state beyond suffering (Rahula 37).

   
   

Karma could be said to be synonymous with the Christian concept of sin in the way that it encourages ethical behaviour in the human being. This involves the promise of Heaven (not Hell) or next life rewards (not punishments). One of my queries is: Are human beings so prone to destruction and dark-heartedness that an ominous afterlife threat is necessary to curtail behaviour? Many atheists claim religion and even its “open-minded” sister, spirituality, have been crafted as decorum coercion of the masses.

However, these philosophies and their arguments are a wormhole of sorts that I could never fully cover in a 6-minute read. So let’s circle back to past lives. 

Is it possible for something to exist that I cannot access or know about? Yes. 

Does my vivid imagination concocting a past life suggest that I have had some inner sight that is authentic? No. So therein lies the rub. It’s another question of faith.

Do I still believe in past lives? Absolutely. 

Do I agree with those who claim to know specific past lifetimes and enlighten you about them? Regrettably, no. I believe they possess wonderful, creative abilities only. If that makes me unpopular with my fellow intuitives, I apologize. 

I’ve been told: 

You were a Maharaja with a harem of women. 

You’ve lived in Atlantis. 

You were a Black slave and punished by having your hands and the soles of your feet burned, thus why you are now sensitive to heat and cold this lifetime. 

Your Mother has been your sister, and by someone different, your sister has been your Father. 

You and your ex-husband are star-crossed lovers and meet up in every lifetime. 

You were part Alien. 

Your dog was once your child. 

You have children in every lifetime, so that’s why you decided not to in this one. 

You’re an old soul who has lived as an abuser and the abused, the victim and the victimizer.

Confusing, no? I find it interesting that no one reports that I’ve lived an average life, with an average income and a common profession in a common location. And isn't that what most lifetimes around us are? Average? The extremism is the gig, I think. I’ve observed how easily spiritual narratives can cater to our desire to be exceptional and how quickly that desire gets monetized.

Full disclosure. I have suggested possible past lives that “may” have occurred to current clients. Based on their current life path and challenges. The operative words are suggestions and possibilities. I will forever remain skeptical of any intuitive that claims definitive knowledge of your past lives. It’s as audacious as claiming that they have met God/Creator/Buddha/Universe. We are mortals. Our work is to be at peace with the limitations of being mortals. In my mind, one of the pleasures of mortality is that we will never truly “figure it all out.”

Past lives may very well be real, but that doesn’t mean they’re accessible just because we want them to be. I, for one, am tired of the spiritual storytelling industry selling us fake backstories. Mystery is sacred for a reason. Forgetting is part of the soul’s design. Awe isn’t something we find in knowing, but in not knowing.

What do you think about past lives? Please leave me a comment!

Works Cited

• Gethin, Rupert. The Foundations of Buddhism. Oxford University Press, 1998.

• Harvey, Peter. An Introduction to Buddhism: Teachings, History and Practices. 2nd ed., Cambridge University Press, 2013.

• Rahula, Walpola. What the Buddha Taught. Revised ed., Grove Press, 1974.

Sarah's Musings on "Where is Spirituality in Academia?" ©

My first class when I returned to university at 44 (Wow, I'm just noticing the numerological significance there) was a tutorial for "Readings in Narrative," a 100-level English class. I had spent the day wandering around feeling vulnerable in my blue hair, thrift store skirt, and Roots backpack. I repeated to myself that I had done drastically harder things than being lost on a university campus, like a mantra I needed to get through a long hold warrior III pose or wild thing pose. I felt positively accused by the penetration of hundreds of sets of 18 and 19-year-old eyes. (Silly in retrospect, they probably assumed I was a prof.)

One of the TA's icebreaker questions was, "Tell us your name, your pronouns, something you hate, and something surprising about you." So, yeah, public speaking. Right off the bat. When my turn came, my heart was throbbing so wildly, I thought it impossible that the whole class of 25 couldn't detect it. I stammered, "Hey, I'm Sarah. I go by she/her. I hate animal cruelty and global warming. And I'm a professional Tarot card reader."

I hoped I might catch the eye of a kindred empath, intrigued by my statement. I was, in fact, proud of the thousands of people I've read for and guided in their healing journey over the years. But not a soul glanced my way. All sets of eyes remained downcast, and did I detect an air of embarrassment in the room? That's when I realized that my spirituality and tarot expertise wouldn't be a currency or connection point for me like they had been for my entire adult life. Not in this new land of academia.

Despite this demoralizing beginning, spirituality did trickle into the course material surprisingly over the following three years. Albeit sparse, I'll share what I gleaned about spirituality during my undergraduate degree in Psychology.

Finding the Sacred in Academic Spaces

1. Positive Psychology & Self-Compassion

In our readings about positive psychology, I encountered concepts that resonated with spiritual practices I'd read about for years. Neff's work on self-compassion particularly stood out:

"Self-compassion entails seeing one's own experience in light of the common human experience, acknowledging that suffering, failure, and inadequacies are part of the human condition, and that all people, oneself included, are worthy of compassion."

This mirrors what I emphasize in readings, that our struggles connect us rather than isolate us, and that self-compassion is as essential as compassion for others. Neff's research shows that those who practice a loving-kindness meditation reported greater mindfulness, more agency in thinking, and even reduced illness symptoms and need for sleep!

The intrapersonal benefits documented in their studies included enhanced self-insight, moral judgment, health benefits, greater well-being, faster information processing, and greater attention to positive versus negative stimuli. These are all outcomes I've witnessed in long-term clients who integrate with a spirituality of their understanding.

2. Human Sexuality & A Spiritual Lens

My sexuality course revealed fascinating historical connections between spirituality and sexuality:

• Taoist traditions viewed sexuality as akin to spirituality, a form of worship leading toward harmony with nature and immortality, producing detailed sex manuals as early as 200 BCE

• Indigenous perspectives honored non-binary gender expressions, often bestowing special status to third or fourth gender individuals who served as shamans, medicine keepers, and spiritual leaders

  
  

A University of Toronto study of 658 Indigenous people across Ontario found that 57% described sex as "magical," with many considering it "enjoyable, pleasurable, and some even went so far as to say spiritual." The traditional view was "that having sex was to touch the life force within us, and to touch the life force meant to touch Creation."

Unlike Western religious traditions centered on concepts of sin, traditional Indigenous spiritual thought approaches “moral transgressions” differently. When people go against teachings, they're seen as not having understood them and are provided an opportunity to learn and try anew.

3. Gender Studies & Literary Connections

In my 300-level Gender and Women's Studies course, I was surprised to encounter this quote from Maggie Nelson's "The Argonauts":

"Many years ago, Carson gave a lecture at Teachers & Writers in New York City, at which she introduced (to me) the concept of leaving a space empty so that God could rush in…It was like stumbling into a Tarot reading or AA meeting and hearing the one thing that will keep you going, in heart or art, for years."

Finding Tarot referenced in an auto theory text felt like a huge victory for my hungry heart. Spiritual tools can penetrate and provide comfort and inspiration even for intellectuals.

4. Health Psychology & Spiritual Coping

In Health Psychology, we studied coping methods extensively. Skinner et al. (2003) documented over 400 methods to assess coping, organizing them into 12 core families. Among these were explicitly spiritual approaches:

• Prayer: Typically considered emotion-focused coping within the religious coping family, helping regulate distress in uncontrollable situations

• Seeking Spiritual Support: Generally falls under support-seeking or religious coping, used to gain comfort, guidance, or a sense of connection

• Faith: A belief system that informs emotion-focused coping, helping with finding purpose or meaning in adversity

Seeing spiritual practices validated as legitimate coping mechanisms in academic research was affirming. What I'd been facilitating through Tarot, helping clients find meaning, connect with broader wisdom, and regulate emotions, was being documented in peer-reviewed studies as effective psychological support. #winning

5. Tarot in Academic Projects

Pg 25 Copy from Diary of an Enraged Girl (Zine Project)

Perhaps my greatest integration came in a 400-level English course, where I incorporated Tarot cards into my final project exploring emotional narratives. The professor's enthusiastic response surprised me; she loved the symbolic language of the cards and how they could structure narrative understanding.

Dr. Alexopoulos’ feedback included: “The overarching theme of tarot was powerful and very meaningful in the context of the relationship adolescent girls often feel to such forms of divination…Thank you for this generous, vulnerable, and important work. I felt and learned many things while reading it, and I know that others who have picked it up will have the same experience…this [is] beautiful, sophisticated, and brave work. I'm so glad it's in the world.”

Pg 16 Copy From Diary of an Enraged Girl (Zine)

Bridging Two Worlds: Reflections on My Journey

Looking back on my academic journey, I've come to realize that spirituality and academia aren't as separate as that first awkward classroom experience made me feel. Both are, at their core, attempts to understand the human experience, they just tend to use different languages and methodologies.

Tarot speaks in symbols and intuition; academia speaks in theories and evidence. Ultimately, both seek truth, meaning, and understanding. Both value reflection, critical thinking, and the expansion of perspective.

What I bring to my Tarot practice is now wholly enriched by my academic training, a deeper integration of psychological processes, cultural contexts, and evidence-based approaches to wellbeing. Upon reflection, I realize that I brought something to academia too: an openness to intuition, symbolic thinking, and a spiritualist's perspectives. I have learnt that it had value, even if it wasn't always recognized.

For those of you walking similar paths between spiritual practice and formal education, I encourage you to see yourself not as divided between worlds but as a bridge between them. Your spiritual insights can inform your academic understanding, and your academic knowledge can widen your spiritual understanding.

The cards have always taught me that apparent opposites contain and complement each other. Perhaps that's the most important lesson of all, that the Hermit's lantern can illuminate the pages of research journals just as effectively as it lights the spiritual seeker's path.

How has your spiritual practice intersected with other areas of your life? I'd love to hear your experiences in the comments below.

References

Bandura, A. (1990). Perceived self-efficacy in the exercise of personal agency. Journal of Applied Sport Psychology, 2(2), 128-163. https://doi.org/10.1080/10413209008406426

Damon, W. (1995). Greater expectations: Overcoming the culture of indulgence in America's homes and schools. Free Press.

Deci, E. L., & Ryan, R. M. (1995). Human autonomy: The basis for true self-esteem. In M. H. Kernis (Ed.), Efficacy, agency, and self-esteem (pp. 31-49). Plenum Press.

Harter, S. (1999). The construction of the self: A developmental perspective. Guilford Press.

Lazarus, R. S., & Folkman, S. (1984). Stress, appraisal, and coping. Springer.

Nelson, M. (2015). The Argonauts. Graywolf Press.

Newhouse, D. (1998). Magic and joy: Traditional Aboriginal views of human sexuality. Canadian Journal of Human Sexuality, 7(2), 183-187.

Neff, K. D. (2003). Self-compassion: An alternative conceptualization of a healthy attitude toward oneself. Self and Identity, 2(2), 85-101. https://doi.org/10.1080/15298860309032

Seligman, M. E. P. (1995). The optimistic child. Houghton Mifflin.

Skinner, E. A., Edge, K., Altman, J., & Sherwood, H. (2003). Searching for the structure of coping: A review and critique of category systems for classifying ways of coping. Psychological Bulletin, 129(2), 216-269. https://doi.org/10.1037/0033-2909.129.2.216

Swann, W. B., Jr. (1996). Self-traps: The elusive quest for higher self-esteem. W.H. Freeman.

Sarah’s Musings on Learning to Read Tarot ©

When I picked up my first deck at age 15, the Hanson Roberts Tarot, a vibrant folk tale deck, I felt a rebellious thrill. I was no stranger to its occult reputation and enticing cloak of mystique. It felt titillating to open it until I realized what “learning Tarot” entailed: memorizing the meanings, symbols, archetypes, and traditions of 78 different cards. That felt daunting! Then, I opened a paper cheat sheet with my first Celtic Cross spread on it, and my head swam at the possibilities that each of the 78 cards could be read differently, given their placement in the spread. That is a whopping 780 possible interpretations. So overwhelming!

Hanson-Roberts Tarot Example Cards

As I slowly constructed a relationship between my cards and my life, days became months and then years. From my experience of learning to read Tarot, I wanted to craft a course for those who may feel similarly thrown into the deep end when approaching their card reading journey. I wanted to assuage the overwhelm of learning Tarot, so I created a two hour intro course.

Tarot versus Oracle Cards

Tarot and Oracle are similar in many ways. They use symbols, colours, stories, archetypes, and life experiences to help guide our path. They offer a wide variety of cards that represent life's highlights and lowlights. Both can be used for daily insight or for more extended readings, including many placements in a spread (e.g., your present, your challenges, your relationships, etc.)

Where Tarot differs, is in its structure. It has two main components: the Major and the Minor Arcana. It won’t be called a Tarot without these two parts. Arcana means “secrets or mysteries.”  So, the “Major Mysteries” are 22 cards that encompass more significant life lessons and shifts, whereas the “Minor Mysteries” of life are 56 cards that encompass our day-to-day experiences.

The Major Arcana always starts with the Fool (the seeker of a new path) and ends with the World (wisdom at the end of the journey.) The Minor Arcana resembles a deck of playing cards with suits and numbers or court cards like the Ten of Hearts/Cups or the Ace of Diamonds/Pentacles. They are affiliated with astrology because each suit represents the four significant elements of air, water, fire, and earth. So those with some astrology interest or background can find Tarot quite approachable, and those wanting to learn Tarot can also get educated in astrology. A total win/win.

From the Light Seer's Tarot

Oracle cards need not follow any structure, so their author and illustrator create the cards and their sequence at their whim. Due to their lack of consistent structure across all Oracles, it is not easy to master many Oracle decks like it is with Tarot. You will likely work with one Oracle deck, learn its meanings only, and find that you go back to being a “newbie” with each new Oracle you pick up.

I call myself a Tarot purist. I love that once you know its fundamentals, it’s transferrable to all Tarot decks. You may connect with an image of a Major Arcana card, like the Magician card in a specific deck more than in another. However, you can describe the original card to your client to help add another layer to the current card. They are both Magician cards, after all. (i.e., “In the Hanson Roberts Tarot, the Magician is seen blending all the elements using his intuition, so this card calls on you to use the art of alchemy. Whereas this Magician in the Light Seer’s Tarot here reminds you that the Universe is always available to co-create with you.”)

The Light Seer's Tarot The Hanson-Roberts Tarot

An Alternative to Memorization

The most difficult request I make of my Tarot students, especially in the first few months of learning Tarot is to not look up the meaning of the cards they pull in their accompanying guidebooks. My method requires firm reliance on building a connection to your cards through your interpretations and intuitions of the card. This takes time and practice. I recommend that they pick up a journal purely for writing down their daily card pulls and what associations those cards have with their feelings, thoughts, and daily events. The relationship with cards is first built by understanding how it feels in our own lives before we can accurately read for others.

Our society is overly identified with doing things “right,” so the urge to confirm the intuitive connection with the guidebook’s write-up is alluring. I have taught hundreds of students over the years, and I have never read a guidebook that has more accuracy for reading a person’s card than their intuitive insights provide. It becomes an exercise in trust. Those with the quickest success in their new Tarot reading journey shed the need to have the “right” traditional meaning in favour of trusting their interpretations of the cards.

Building confidence in our gut, third eye, and instincts pays off massive dividends—and not just in reading cards. A trusting relationship between yourself and your inner voice serves you in relationships, mate selection, navigating conflict, avoiding potential hazards or threats, and so on. I am so grateful to my Tarot journey for its Masterclass on how to trust and connect with inner wisdom and inklings.

The ”Learn to Read Tarot for Yourself” course is offered one-on-one with me in person or online and is accompanied by a small course pack. You may borrow one of my Tarot decks or bring your own. I also offer small group options for Tarot classes as a more affordable option ($220 for one-on-one vs. $80/per person.) This can be a stand-alone class, or you can proceed through 7 more classes to reach your Tarot Level 1 Training certification. Classes 2 & 3 deep dive into the Major Arcana cards and their astrology, classes 4-7 are devoted to each one of the suits: cups, wands, pentacles, and swords, and the final class teaches the intricacy of reading spreads of cards like the Celtic Cross Spread ( a look at your present, challenges, themes, fears, relationships, and outcomes,) the Fool’s Journey ( a look at what has brought you to where you are and what lessons are still to come,) and the Relationship Spread ( a look at what you are here to learn about yourself through your partner and where they are at in their life, heart and head. Also, whether that is an energetic match with each of these areas for you). There is also a 5-class Tarot Mastery Level 2 that I’ve designed.

Please reach out for more information or to sign up.

Authored by: Sarah Mayes